Sunday, September 12, 2010

Video game number two hundred and seventy one: Blazblue Continuum Shift

Video game review number two hundred and seventy one in my 365 Games in 365 Days project is "BlazBlue Continuum Shift".

Apparently, I'm in the mood for Japanese games today, because this one is CERTAINLY Japanese. I have been aware of at least one other BlazBlue in the past, but I've never played the series...mostly because it's one of those extreme combo games, and I figured I wouldn't like it much.

I decided to take the tutorial (starting as a beginner) and right off the bat, this game feeds you a cockmeat sandwich. And I quote:

"About Beginner Mode: It is most perfectly suited to persons unfamiliar with fighting games, persons incapable of performing combos, and infants".

FUCK YOU, Blazblue.

As you progress through the tutorial, it becomes apparent that your teacher is a bitch, and that's just the way she talks...but at first, it was kind of annoying to have the game tell you that you were lame for trying to learn it.

Anyway...I progressed through most of (but not all of) the tutorial, because it's extremely lengthy. They really do teach you just about everything though, and I felt like I had a big enough grasp on it to go into the story mode.

When I started that, I sat through about 20 minutes of cut scenes before realizing the story was not only stupid, it was extremely long, and the fighting was spaced way too far apart. Clearly, this mode is made for big fans of the series, which I am not. I switched to arcade.

In arcade mode, you play the standard Street Fighter 2 model. Start at the bottom, fight nine guys until you get to the boss. I didn't make it through nine guys....but I did get to number 7 (a big fat guy with robot hands). He kicked my butt. I had no interest in continuing.

This game is exactly what I don't like about fighting games. It's all twitch, all memory, and no fun. If you don't know the moves list by heart (and every counter for every character as well)'re going to get owned. Not my kind of game, and because I got two achievements (one for watching the story, and one for pulling off a complicated finishing move I learned in the tutorial)...I get to quit now.

Overall Score? 3/10. Definitely not my cup of tea. It was fun to button mash for a minute or two...but the story is silly, the moves are ridiculous hard (and all timing based)...and I'd rather not play an arcade game that requires you to study for 40 hours before you're even worthy of an online match.

Achievements? Here are the only two I will ever get in this:

P.S. Mr. Tiddles? Really?

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