Friday, September 10, 2004


So, I got my braces on yesterday.

No, this isn't some 12 year old's blog....I'm 29. For some reason, I'm just now getting around to it. Oh sure, I could have done this when I was in grade school like my sisters and everyone else did, but I didn't want them back then. The stigma attached to braces in school was the equivalent of having the plague. I was apparently convinced that if I got braces put on, I would immediately become "That kid with the braces" or something equally harmless in hindsight. So, based on my perception of what was "cool" in 1987, I somehow talked my parents out of getting me the braces I needed back then. Damn my parents for being so easily swayed by whatever I said to them.

The first thing I'm going to do when I build my time machine is go back and kick my ass for not getting braces when I should have. Then I'll do the normal "Grey's Sports Alamanac" stuff that everyone else would do with their time machine.

Anyway, back to the future. So, I have my braces on and I hate them. I couldn't eat all the wonderful leftover pizza I had last night because I couldn't chew it. So, one piece was all I had. Even the ice cream Heather bought me was tough because it had little chocolate pieces in it. That's what I get for liking Cherry Garcia.

This morning, during my cereal....I already broke the God damned blue bite things* they put on to keep me from breaking the braces....and now I have to go back to the dentist at 4pm to get some bite things re-installed.

Did I mention that I hate these stupid things?

*"Blue bite things" is a patented technical medical product, all rights reserved.

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