Video game review number two hundred and thirty seven in my 365 Games in 365 Days project is "Bomberman Land".
Game number two hundred and thirty seven was actually supposed to be Buzz "Quiz World", which I had rented from Gamefly this weekend, but unfortunately...they neglect to tell you when you rent it that it requires the special "buzz" controllers. In a game like DJ Hero, it might be obvious that you need a specific peripheral to play, but Quiz World is a trivia game as far as I'm aware....and I'm not sure why you need the giant button controller to play it. "Scene It" has a special controller, but you can play without it if you want to....which is exactly what I did when I played it on the Xbox several months ago. Now I have to return this game and wait at least 5 days before I get a replacement from Gamefly, which sucks ass.
Enough about a game I was never able to play, let's talk about Bomberman Land.
I have enjoyed Bomberman games in the past, but so far in this challenge, I have yet to play a good one. First, it was Act Zero, which I hated...and now this piece of garbage, which is somehow even worse.
You begin the story with a series of gibberish filled text screens (which you cannot speed up or skip past). They go on for a good five to ten minutes before you're finally dropped into a lobby. As far as I can tell from the stupid, poorly translated text....you're a Bomberman, competing in some sort of ranked world competition, run by an "evil" Champion. He has sunglasses and a cowboy hat, and he's a dick to everyone else in the land....so I assume you'll eventually battle this guy.
In the meantime, you must play some painfully terrible mini-games like "jump rope" (pressing A as a rope passes you until you finally miss) and "Laser ball" (which involves slowly shooting at bouncing balls with a laser). I played five different mini games before entering "the tournament", where you basically play the same mini games again, but this time..you do it for tokens. If you are the highest rank, you move on. If not...you get to play the same stupid mini-games AGAIN.
Eventually...I could have faced that champion. I could have been a contender....I just didn't care to. This is an awful sequel to a once great series, and I hope that someday, they'll turn things around and bring Bomberman back to glory. For now, I think Bomberman and Sonic the Hedgehog need to go off to bad game rehab or something.
Overall Score? 3/10. This is the worst Bomberman game I've ever played.
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